Yup! This is going to be one of those terribly negative posts. If you don't want to hear a pregnant woman complain, x out now.
K, I am soooo miserable! The nausea is unbearable. I'm nauseous all day every day. It started October 1st and I have been sick ever since! Nothing helps! All I want to do is stay home in bed and hope to sleep for the rest of the 1st trimester. I pray. I PRAY for the end of nausea in the 2nd trimester!
I've tried everything to combat it. Crackers, ginger, ginger snaps, sex, vitamin b6, small spread out meals, sitting still, breathing, laying still... NOTHING.
unfortunately I still have to go to work. Kids dont really understand that teacher needs a moment of peace and quiet! I also haven't officially told the adults yet either. I did tell a few other teachers who I'm friends with outside of work as well as a few other teachers who announced they were preg. I just told a few teachers who don't know me well and their reaction was a little negative "who's the father!?". I didn't think about how people would react negatively because I'm not married. To the second lady who asked me that I said "My fiancé, (his name) but I don't think you know him. I mean want do they think of me!? But any way, that's besides the point. I'm going to tell everyone about it next week after my drs appt. I will be 11 weeks then. Not quite 12 weeks but damn close considering all the nausea and vomitting I've lived with, silently.
The nausea has taken a steady yet slow progression towards torture. Finally week 9 and 10 has included projectile vomitting. Its almost like anything I eat comes right back up. But if I don't eat I throw up any way. It's like nasty acidic bile. And I feel sick all day long. I get little to no break. Nothing sound particularly appealing to eat. I try to eat things on the bland side because even though there is a good chance I'll throw it up, for the time it stays in my stomach it will remain some what settled.
This morning on the way to work, as I was driving I was gagging and finally had the strong urge to throw up. I put my hazards on and pulled over to the emergency lane opened up my door leaned over and spewed my guts out. Cars were honking there horns as they passed so I got out of the car and stood in a safer place and let her rip. I felt relief for a little while until i got hunger nausea.
Anyway, pregnancy, sucks!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
btw my first OB visit is
Oct 26th. It's for an ultrasound, nurse visit and dr visit. The dr I chose just came back from amternity leave. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing. But I have a good feeling about it.
5 weeks and 9 days? (old post I never completed or published til now)
6 weeks and 6 days
So I haven't been here in a long while!!! Well here's what's new:
1. So much for not feeling anything! Hello Nausea city! It's an aweful feeling. I gag several times a day. Forget what you've heard. Morning sickness is not just for the morning. Throughout the whole day I feel a constant just sick nauseating feeling. If I eat too much, if I don't eat, if I sit up to fast, if I move too fast...whatever...NAUSEA!! I have to say though, this all just started during week 6. I felt mild nausea before but this past week has been the most intense thus far.
(So I guess I'm 6 weeks preg. If I were to count the week of my last period that would be 7 weeks but I don't think you're supposed to. So I'm 6 weeks.)
2. Weight gain. I've gained 5 pounds. During week 5 I had and insane appetite. I wanted to eat EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME!!! I was ridiculously hungry all. the. time! So now I'm at 160lbs (I'm 5'8")
3. Huge boobs! DARK nipples, with an even darker outline on the edges. My boobs are always falling out of my bra. But I'm not buying a new bra just yet. I'm already a 34DD. Vicky's don't make bras bigger than that....I think. I know a lot of people hate Vicky's but she's been good to me.
4. Holy mood swings batman! I cried hard over a funny story a friend was telling me about when she was a child sleeping with her mother. Something a about her sleeping wild and her mom just taking it made me soo sad.
Then last night I was havinga break down. Crying sooo hard, because we ran out of toilet paper and I needed to blow my nose!!! LOL I knew it was ridiculous as I was doing it but it just got to me. Straight to the core! My BF knelt down on the side of the bed to, what I thought was console me, but instead he PROPOSED TO ME!!!!!
1. So much for not feeling anything! Hello Nausea city! It's an aweful feeling. I gag several times a day. Forget what you've heard. Morning sickness is not just for the morning. Throughout the whole day I feel a constant just sick nauseating feeling. If I eat too much, if I don't eat, if I sit up to fast, if I move too fast...whatever...NAUSEA!! I have to say though, this all just started during week 6. I felt mild nausea before but this past week has been the most intense thus far.
(So I guess I'm 6 weeks preg. If I were to count the week of my last period that would be 7 weeks but I don't think you're supposed to. So I'm 6 weeks.)
2. Weight gain. I've gained 5 pounds. During week 5 I had and insane appetite. I wanted to eat EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME!!! I was ridiculously hungry all. the. time! So now I'm at 160lbs (I'm 5'8")
3. Huge boobs! DARK nipples, with an even darker outline on the edges. My boobs are always falling out of my bra. But I'm not buying a new bra just yet. I'm already a 34DD. Vicky's don't make bras bigger than that....I think. I know a lot of people hate Vicky's but she's been good to me.
4. Holy mood swings batman! I cried hard over a funny story a friend was telling me about when she was a child sleeping with her mother. Something a about her sleeping wild and her mom just taking it made me soo sad.
Then last night I was havinga break down. Crying sooo hard, because we ran out of toilet paper and I needed to blow my nose!!! LOL I knew it was ridiculous as I was doing it but it just got to me. Straight to the core! My BF knelt down on the side of the bed to, what I thought was console me, but instead he PROPOSED TO ME!!!!!
I LOVE my ring! It's perfect! Simple, daintly, just the right amount of showiness but not over done. VERY taseful. Very beautiful. Just perfect.
So I'm on cloud9 today. Nausea has teaken a back seat for today.
I also told my mother I was pregnant last night. She was happy. And I'm happy.
Talk to you soon <3
Thursday, September 13, 2012
13 dpo
Soooo......!
All the symptoms I said I had at 10 dpo are totally gone, so I wonder if I just made it up....?
I basically feel nothing except feeling bloated and having slightly sore boobs. I still haven't reached my AF date.
12dpo 13 dpo
I COULDN'T WAIT 21 DAYS TO TELL BF!!!! I told him 2 nights ago! I hadn't been sleeping. I'd be up all night with thoughts racing through my mind some of them thoughts of joy and others total fear! I started thinking "Oh my goodness! What have I done?! I'm not even married yet! I don't even have my engagement ring!
So I woke BF up 2 nights ago in the middle of his deep sleep to ask BF if he ever asked his friend about marrying us and how soon I'd get my ring. He was sooo pissed! He was like "Really "Mich"? Do you really need to wake me up from my sleep to ask that now?? I have to go to work early!" He was starting to get all worked up and got up and sat on the edge of the bed not really responding. So I finally told him, at that moment because he was so pissed and had no idea where these questions were coming from all of a sudden, so urgent. He was so shocked. He immediately got back in bed with me and literally squeezed me tight, kissing me and hugging me and telling me he loved me.
Today at work, my work bff asked me how I was doing and I blurted out "I'm pregnant!" It just flew out of my mouth before I could stop it! I just got finished telling her yesterday that if I were pregnant, I wouldn't tell her until the first trimester ended. So much for that!
I really hope and pray I won't spill the beans to anyone else yet! I need a stapler for my mouth!
My across the hall neighbor at work is also ttcing and from time to time we talk about it. I want to tell her sooo bad but I think she is having a rather difficult time getting preg. She has been trying for a few months. But the thing is, is that she doesn't often get her period and her gyn says she doesn't ovulate regularly. She's really upset about it because her family all just assumes "Oh So and So? No! She's 34 she'll never have kids! I don't think they want any!"
But honestly, time really does creep up on you! I still have these doubts like "Hold on I don't think I'm old enough to be some one's mom yet.." And then here I am 31, biologically starting to try to be pushing it age wise! And she said the same thing! She and I had similar experiences in our 20's. We spent extended periods of time travelling out of the country. I moved far away from friends and family to a new state where I bought my house. I spent most of my 20's in a serious but very destructive relationship, broke up with him after 8 years and spent the next 4 years meeting new guys and having new experiences with all of them while finding my own identity. I got a bachelors degree and years later got my masters.
Making babies was the last thing on my mind in my 20's.
So now here I am, 10 years after losing my virginity, I'm going to be a mommy! (God willing)
All the symptoms I said I had at 10 dpo are totally gone, so I wonder if I just made it up....?
I basically feel nothing except feeling bloated and having slightly sore boobs. I still haven't reached my AF date.
12dpo 13 dpo
I COULDN'T WAIT 21 DAYS TO TELL BF!!!! I told him 2 nights ago! I hadn't been sleeping. I'd be up all night with thoughts racing through my mind some of them thoughts of joy and others total fear! I started thinking "Oh my goodness! What have I done?! I'm not even married yet! I don't even have my engagement ring!
So I woke BF up 2 nights ago in the middle of his deep sleep to ask BF if he ever asked his friend about marrying us and how soon I'd get my ring. He was sooo pissed! He was like "Really "Mich"? Do you really need to wake me up from my sleep to ask that now?? I have to go to work early!" He was starting to get all worked up and got up and sat on the edge of the bed not really responding. So I finally told him, at that moment because he was so pissed and had no idea where these questions were coming from all of a sudden, so urgent. He was so shocked. He immediately got back in bed with me and literally squeezed me tight, kissing me and hugging me and telling me he loved me.
Today at work, my work bff asked me how I was doing and I blurted out "I'm pregnant!" It just flew out of my mouth before I could stop it! I just got finished telling her yesterday that if I were pregnant, I wouldn't tell her until the first trimester ended. So much for that!
I really hope and pray I won't spill the beans to anyone else yet! I need a stapler for my mouth!
My across the hall neighbor at work is also ttcing and from time to time we talk about it. I want to tell her sooo bad but I think she is having a rather difficult time getting preg. She has been trying for a few months. But the thing is, is that she doesn't often get her period and her gyn says she doesn't ovulate regularly. She's really upset about it because her family all just assumes "Oh So and So? No! She's 34 she'll never have kids! I don't think they want any!"
But honestly, time really does creep up on you! I still have these doubts like "Hold on I don't think I'm old enough to be some one's mom yet.." And then here I am 31, biologically starting to try to be pushing it age wise! And she said the same thing! She and I had similar experiences in our 20's. We spent extended periods of time travelling out of the country. I moved far away from friends and family to a new state where I bought my house. I spent most of my 20's in a serious but very destructive relationship, broke up with him after 8 years and spent the next 4 years meeting new guys and having new experiences with all of them while finding my own identity. I got a bachelors degree and years later got my masters.
Making babies was the last thing on my mind in my 20's.
So now here I am, 10 years after losing my virginity, I'm going to be a mommy! (God willing)
Monday, September 10, 2012
Holy no symptoms at all until 10 dpo batman!
The funniest thing though is that the symptoms are totally nothing I would have even imagined or matched with pregnancy! I still don't have any major crazy symptoms.
The symptoms that I noticed today besides sore boobs are:
1. Shortness of breath! What?! I feel like I'm gasping for air a bit.
2. Twinges in my upper, yup UPPER, abdomen. Weird huh?
And
3. Often thirsty with dry mouth. But this could be caused by the shortness of breath.
The shortness of breath is kind of annoying though. I hope I'm able to keep this all a secret until BF's bday! FX
So anyhow, today after work, I took another HPT. I think it looks a bit darker from this morning. Wouldn't you say?
Wait.... Dude. I think I'm, pregnant. God willing, I'm going to be somebody's momma....
CD 23 10 dpo + hpt
So this morning, just 30 minutes ago, I woke up early to test. I was upset to see the test line is fainter than what I remember yesterday's being.
But now that I actually compare the pics, today's is definitely darker and better seen. I guess I was kind of hoping to see a bold line this morning. Today I finally got my first real symptom, my boobs are a tad bit sore on the sides.
Dude! I'm preggers....I can't belive it!
And so begins a new chapter in my life!
i
But now that I actually compare the pics, today's is definitely darker and better seen. I guess I was kind of hoping to see a bold line this morning. Today I finally got my first real symptom, my boobs are a tad bit sore on the sides.
Dude! I'm preggers....I can't belive it!
And so begins a new chapter in my life!
i
Sunday, September 9, 2012
CD 22 9 dpo (Maybe + HPT....?)
Well, I know I said, just 2 days ago, I wasn't going to test again until Monday at 10 dpo. It sooo did not go down like that though. Yesterday morning, I said, what the heck, I'll test for sh*ts and giggles. I dipped the test into a plastic cup of my pee. Placed it down on the wrapper on top of my sink. I watched as the pee saturated the stick...and then something CRAZY happened...the test line was the first line to come up! Next was the control line!!!!! The test line was soooooo faint!
After seeing the +, I was a bit shocked, scared and like, HOLY !@#$% I'm going to have a baby??!! Am I ready for this!? BF is still paying off my ring! (And he is working soo hard to get me the ring I want too <3) We're being really nonchalant about making calls and setting up appointments for our marriage, I've never birthed a baby before!, what will my co-workers say?, what will my mom say?, WHAT WILL MY DAD SAY!!!??? Little tiny freak out session.
I had to dip another test in my urine! (same urine, I wait a few before throwing it out just in case the test is faulty) I mean, it could have been an evap line or a faulty test..
So the results of the second test was a......BFN!!!!
I breathed a sigh of relief..sad to say. It was a lot of feelings at one time. I mean fear feels almost like an automatic reaction to a HPT for me. I have lived through times in my past, while dating an ex where the condom came off inside me or it broke and I would run to the store to buy HPTs hoping and praying I wasn't preggo because I just wasn't ready! So naturally this time, I honestly had some of those previous emotions mixed in with a bit of hope for a +. Though, I'm 31, sometimes I really feel like I'm 21 and not old enough or in the right stage in my life to start a family.
But the opposite is actually true, I am ready, I am old enough, I am secure enough and I am in the right stage. I'm in the perfect place. I feel like even though we've talked about it a lot and I have decided I was ready to use my body to bring another life into the world, I may never feel totally 100% sure upon seeing a positive test. There's a lot of emotions and shock to seeing a positive result because your life will be forever changed from that moment on.
Well, after my little episode yesterday, I said ok, that was a lesson to me. That's what I get for going back on my word! Well this morning I woke up, sat on the toilet, paused for a second and thought, "Should I go get my pee cup??.....NO! A promise is a promise!" So I released the flood gates and out the pee flowed.
Later on, some friends came over and we entertained a little. I had been running around all day trying to get this and that for the company. And then I realized to myself, I hadn't peed since this morning...
After the company left, I did go upstairs and peed in my cup. I dipped the test in the pee. I decided I wouldn't stare. So I set my phone for 5 minutes. When I came back, there was a faint test line again y'all!!!!!!!!! I mean it happened once yesterday and I thought it was a faulty test. It surely can't be faulty again today, right!?!? I'm in shock and I'm happy but not totally convinced. And, I did not have a freak out session today. I think I got it out of my system yesterday. Can you see it? The pic doesn't do it justice.
I'm definitely testing again tomorrow morning (at 10 dpo *blush* *blush*) seeing it again tomorrow, perhaps darker is the confirmation I'll need to finally let go of my breath. I still have absolutely no symptoms.
Later, I laid down to rest a bit and BF came and laid down next to me and I told him "Today is a good day, a day to remember. Remember that." And he smiled and said "ok" but he thought I said that because our friends came over and he cut the grass.
BF's bday is at the end of the month, 21 more days. And he has been working extra hard to improve himself by then. He's already in good shape, but he's been working out more and harder to achieve more muscle definition. And he's been eating really well. He's also been working crazy long hours in over time to make more money to get my wedding ring and have more money in savings for our future. He's been working HARD! He hardly has time to himself. But with all that he's doing he finds the time and energy to squeeze in for me.
One of my BFF's "back home" is getting married the day before his bday. Knowing that he is strapped for cash, at the beginning of this month, I bought us both plane tix to fly home for her wedding. BF has never been to my city and he's really excited about it. If I really am pregnant, I'm going to take him site seeing on his bday and tell him the good news in a romantic, hopefully magical way.
I'm definitely going to ask him to recall the day I said "Today is a good day, a day to remember..."
After seeing the +, I was a bit shocked, scared and like, HOLY !@#$% I'm going to have a baby??!! Am I ready for this!? BF is still paying off my ring! (And he is working soo hard to get me the ring I want too <3) We're being really nonchalant about making calls and setting up appointments for our marriage, I've never birthed a baby before!, what will my co-workers say?, what will my mom say?, WHAT WILL MY DAD SAY!!!??? Little tiny freak out session.
I had to dip another test in my urine! (same urine, I wait a few before throwing it out just in case the test is faulty) I mean, it could have been an evap line or a faulty test..
So the results of the second test was a......BFN!!!!
I breathed a sigh of relief..sad to say. It was a lot of feelings at one time. I mean fear feels almost like an automatic reaction to a HPT for me. I have lived through times in my past, while dating an ex where the condom came off inside me or it broke and I would run to the store to buy HPTs hoping and praying I wasn't preggo because I just wasn't ready! So naturally this time, I honestly had some of those previous emotions mixed in with a bit of hope for a +. Though, I'm 31, sometimes I really feel like I'm 21 and not old enough or in the right stage in my life to start a family.
But the opposite is actually true, I am ready, I am old enough, I am secure enough and I am in the right stage. I'm in the perfect place. I feel like even though we've talked about it a lot and I have decided I was ready to use my body to bring another life into the world, I may never feel totally 100% sure upon seeing a positive test. There's a lot of emotions and shock to seeing a positive result because your life will be forever changed from that moment on.
Well, after my little episode yesterday, I said ok, that was a lesson to me. That's what I get for going back on my word! Well this morning I woke up, sat on the toilet, paused for a second and thought, "Should I go get my pee cup??.....NO! A promise is a promise!" So I released the flood gates and out the pee flowed.
Later on, some friends came over and we entertained a little. I had been running around all day trying to get this and that for the company. And then I realized to myself, I hadn't peed since this morning...
After the company left, I did go upstairs and peed in my cup. I dipped the test in the pee. I decided I wouldn't stare. So I set my phone for 5 minutes. When I came back, there was a faint test line again y'all!!!!!!!!! I mean it happened once yesterday and I thought it was a faulty test. It surely can't be faulty again today, right!?!? I'm in shock and I'm happy but not totally convinced. And, I did not have a freak out session today. I think I got it out of my system yesterday. Can you see it? The pic doesn't do it justice.
I'm definitely testing again tomorrow morning (at 10 dpo *blush* *blush*) seeing it again tomorrow, perhaps darker is the confirmation I'll need to finally let go of my breath. I still have absolutely no symptoms.
Later, I laid down to rest a bit and BF came and laid down next to me and I told him "Today is a good day, a day to remember. Remember that." And he smiled and said "ok" but he thought I said that because our friends came over and he cut the grass.
BF's bday is at the end of the month, 21 more days. And he has been working extra hard to improve himself by then. He's already in good shape, but he's been working out more and harder to achieve more muscle definition. And he's been eating really well. He's also been working crazy long hours in over time to make more money to get my wedding ring and have more money in savings for our future. He's been working HARD! He hardly has time to himself. But with all that he's doing he finds the time and energy to squeeze in for me.
One of my BFF's "back home" is getting married the day before his bday. Knowing that he is strapped for cash, at the beginning of this month, I bought us both plane tix to fly home for her wedding. BF has never been to my city and he's really excited about it. If I really am pregnant, I'm going to take him site seeing on his bday and tell him the good news in a romantic, hopefully magical way.
I'm definitely going to ask him to recall the day I said "Today is a good day, a day to remember..."
Friday, September 7, 2012
CD 20 7 DPO
K. I'm a tad crazy this 2ww. I just feel like, I want to be pregnant sooo bad that I literally can't breathe! My BF has NOOOO idea how crazy I really feel inside! I must have taken 10 hpts already! It's just this cycle, I feel like we did so well! I mean we basically knew when ovulation was going to occur thanks to the opks, we used pressed, we BDed a lot around the time of ovulation, not to mention the whole blue moon thing! But sadly, I feel like I don't have any symptoms! I've had menstrual cycles when not ttcing with more preggo symptoms! I don't even have breast soreness or swollen breasts! My last few cycles I had the breast symptoms really bad. I'm hoping since it is unusual for me to not have any symptoms during my cycle its a good sign......FX!
One thing I did notice last night was my nipples appeared to be a tiny bit darker and bigger but a very small change. Nothing drastic. And this is actually the second ttc cycle where I thought they were darker and bigger. I don't know what is going to come of our efforts this month! I'm just hoping and praying!
I really want atleast 2 kids, ideally 3 by the age 35! I want to get the ball rolling already! This is nerve racking! AF is due the 16th. I'm not going to test again until the 10th which will be 10 dpo.....
One thing I did notice last night was my nipples appeared to be a tiny bit darker and bigger but a very small change. Nothing drastic. And this is actually the second ttc cycle where I thought they were darker and bigger. I don't know what is going to come of our efforts this month! I'm just hoping and praying!
I really want atleast 2 kids, ideally 3 by the age 35! I want to get the ball rolling already! This is nerve racking! AF is due the 16th. I'm not going to test again until the 10th which will be 10 dpo.....
Saturday, September 1, 2012
CD 14
Yesterday, on CD 13, I got a very clear positive on my OPK. I told my BF to hurry up and come home so we can BD. I thought the positive OPK meant I was ovulating at that moment. So we BDed and used the preseed for the first time. My BF didn't too much care for the preseed. He said he preferred the feeling of my own fluids better. That time he had an orgasm and I didn't which is unusual for me because I always do. I guess it was because I wasn't 100% aroused. I was just wet due to the preseed. But I think that him having an orgasm and me not is a good thing. I read some where that when the female orgasms first, the contractions can obstruct the sperm from entering the cervix.
Anyway I woke up in the early hours this morning and got my orgasm any way. I went knocking on his doors and he let me in. ;-) Since that wasn't specifically planned as a BD we didn't even bother to stop and get the preseed.
After a little while later, I found out that a positive OPK means that you are JUST about to ovulate.
That's a good thing because I was a little afraid we could possibly have been a little late with our BD on CD 13 because we had not BDed since CD 10 or 11 and I know sperm will only live for around 3 days. So after finding that out we BDed again. (I hope I don't exhaust his supply! He's a young chap but still....lol)
I just took another OPK the test line is still bold but I must admit it looks a tad bit lighter than yesterday's. So I think we will BD again tonight. I would also like for us to BD on CDs 15, 16, 17 and 18 just to be on the safe side.
Here's hoping we're successful! BF and I are super excited. 2013 brings our marriage and hopefully our first child!
BTW! Remember me telling you I was born on the full moon? And the whole thing about there being a strong possibility of conceiving on the same phase of the moon as the female's birth? Well CD 12 was a full moon. I got my first positive OPK on CD 13. So I just figured I missed the full moon, well what ever! Well, CD 13 turned out to be a Blue Moon! Blue Moons are and extra night of a full moon. (they are not actually blue.) They only come around every 2.7 years! The next Blue Moon will be July 31, 2015. Hopefully this is a good sign!
Anyway I woke up in the early hours this morning and got my orgasm any way. I went knocking on his doors and he let me in. ;-) Since that wasn't specifically planned as a BD we didn't even bother to stop and get the preseed.
After a little while later, I found out that a positive OPK means that you are JUST about to ovulate.
That's a good thing because I was a little afraid we could possibly have been a little late with our BD on CD 13 because we had not BDed since CD 10 or 11 and I know sperm will only live for around 3 days. So after finding that out we BDed again. (I hope I don't exhaust his supply! He's a young chap but still....lol)
I just took another OPK the test line is still bold but I must admit it looks a tad bit lighter than yesterday's. So I think we will BD again tonight. I would also like for us to BD on CDs 15, 16, 17 and 18 just to be on the safe side.
Here's hoping we're successful! BF and I are super excited. 2013 brings our marriage and hopefully our first child!
BTW! Remember me telling you I was born on the full moon? And the whole thing about there being a strong possibility of conceiving on the same phase of the moon as the female's birth? Well CD 12 was a full moon. I got my first positive OPK on CD 13. So I just figured I missed the full moon, well what ever! Well, CD 13 turned out to be a Blue Moon! Blue Moons are and extra night of a full moon. (they are not actually blue.) They only come around every 2.7 years! The next Blue Moon will be July 31, 2015. Hopefully this is a good sign!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
CD 10
Nothing much to report. My OPKs are still negative. But I did have a lot of cm in my undies today. It was the creamy kind though. I guess the cm starts to increase around this time in the cycle. BF and I haven't had sex since before my period. No sign of ovulation symptoms yet (bloating, swollen breast etc etc)
I'm about to go to bed I wish I had more time to chat but I must go. Ttys!
I'm about to go to bed I wish I had more time to chat but I must go. Ttys!
Friday, August 24, 2012
CD 6
I decided to check my cm and take an OPK just so I can know how to use and read the OPKs and what non fertile cm should look like. Checking for cm is uncomfortable and weird. The few times I've tried it, my finger didn't really produce much of anything. This time I went in with my finger like a dip stick and only saw a shiny finger from wetness. So I went back in and curled my finger out to kind of hook some fluid out. The cm looked creamy and off whitish... But honestly, my cm always seems to look like this in my undies. I guess this means not fertile until I see ewcm or wet cm.
The OPK had 2 lines on it but the control line was darker than the other which means not fertile.
Also, how in the world am I supposed to know how high, the position and the opening of my cervix is?? It all feels the same in there: Squishy! And I don't think my finger can reach the top...
Oh well internet search: what the cervix should feel like, here I come! I will try the cervix exam again tomorrow.
The OPK had 2 lines on it but the control line was darker than the other which means not fertile.
Also, how in the world am I supposed to know how high, the position and the opening of my cervix is?? It all feels the same in there: Squishy! And I don't think my finger can reach the top...
Oh well internet search: what the cervix should feel like, here I come! I will try the cervix exam again tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
CD 4
Wow! This period seems to fly by! I can't believe I'm on CD 4 already! Maybe if i continue to blog each day, the ttw will just fly by too. We'll see. I got my Preseed, opks and hpts yesterday. BF was excited about trying preseed out. lol ttys!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
CD 3
Well, I haven't got much to say. Today is the 3rd day of my cycle. Pretty uneventful. It's a pretty easy going AF.
A few weeks ago I went to Walgreen's to buy something or other and I ran into a product that claims to be able to tell you if you are fertile or not but you have to use it on the 3rd day of your cycle. I meant to go back and check it out yesterday but was way too tired after work. I'll try to remember to do that today after work. I hope it doesn't require first mornings pee...cuz that's long gone!
Some of this baby stuff sounds like magical potion making. Imagine walking through a creepy forest, to the base of a huge tree to find a short bent over, crazy grey haired, bony fingered, raspy voiced, poorly clothed, ancient woman to ask for the ability to bear children. She'd say: "Drink this bottle of azure cough serum at the commencement of your monthly cycle. Towards the median of your cycle behold the changes of your fluids. You must diligently inspect these fluids until you produce the magical egg white mucus. At the instant to which you see this egg white mucus you must make love to a male lover of which you desire to father your offspring. You will need to bide your time for exactly 2 weeks. After this 2 week period, you will need to mix the early morning's piss of your next missed menses and this stick to know if the potion has worked. You will know you have fallen pregnant if 2 lines magically appear on the stick. If by this time you have found your pursuits were unsuccessful, come back and I will give you a stronger potion for the next cycle."
As this is only my 3rd cycle, I haven't tried much in the way of encouraging conception besides sex and roughly gaging when I might ovulation. On CD 1 out of sadness,I did order amazon preseed and opks on amazon for the first time but I'm starting to feel like I don't want to get too far deep in to this stuff. It can consume you if you do, I think. I'm the type who really can't focus too much attention on one thing without everything falling apart. For one, my house is a mess! I've been spending too much time on the internet watching ttc YouTube and putting in ttc searches into google. I've also been a bit stressed about it in real life too. Being sad about AF coming, worrying about 'what if I cant?' What I really need to do is put a damn load of laundry in the washer! Clean up my closet! Hang up my dang clothes! How bout some vacuuming!? Put my house and life back in order and stop obsessing over something I really can't control.
A few weeks ago I went to Walgreen's to buy something or other and I ran into a product that claims to be able to tell you if you are fertile or not but you have to use it on the 3rd day of your cycle. I meant to go back and check it out yesterday but was way too tired after work. I'll try to remember to do that today after work. I hope it doesn't require first mornings pee...cuz that's long gone!
Some of this baby stuff sounds like magical potion making. Imagine walking through a creepy forest, to the base of a huge tree to find a short bent over, crazy grey haired, bony fingered, raspy voiced, poorly clothed, ancient woman to ask for the ability to bear children. She'd say: "Drink this bottle of azure cough serum at the commencement of your monthly cycle. Towards the median of your cycle behold the changes of your fluids. You must diligently inspect these fluids until you produce the magical egg white mucus. At the instant to which you see this egg white mucus you must make love to a male lover of which you desire to father your offspring. You will need to bide your time for exactly 2 weeks. After this 2 week period, you will need to mix the early morning's piss of your next missed menses and this stick to know if the potion has worked. You will know you have fallen pregnant if 2 lines magically appear on the stick. If by this time you have found your pursuits were unsuccessful, come back and I will give you a stronger potion for the next cycle."
As this is only my 3rd cycle, I haven't tried much in the way of encouraging conception besides sex and roughly gaging when I might ovulation. On CD 1 out of sadness,I did order amazon preseed and opks on amazon for the first time but I'm starting to feel like I don't want to get too far deep in to this stuff. It can consume you if you do, I think. I'm the type who really can't focus too much attention on one thing without everything falling apart. For one, my house is a mess! I've been spending too much time on the internet watching ttc YouTube and putting in ttc searches into google. I've also been a bit stressed about it in real life too. Being sad about AF coming, worrying about 'what if I cant?' What I really need to do is put a damn load of laundry in the washer! Clean up my closet! Hang up my dang clothes! How bout some vacuuming!? Put my house and life back in order and stop obsessing over something I really can't control.
Monday, August 20, 2012
CD 2
Though I was upset AF came, I have to admit she's been a gentle visitor. I ran out of my large horse tampons and have been able to manage with the smaller size I usually use for the tail end of my cycles. I also haven't really had much cramping. I do think I have less cramping because I didn't eat anything yesterday. That is NOT like me to skip meals let alone not eat a thing for a whole day. Weird as it may be, I was not hungry. I think there is something about the bloating of a period that makes me feel full. I was also a trifle upset to be getting my period and I didn't find the desire to really get up and leave my room until later in the night.
I know I have only been ttcing for 2 months now but I'm annoyed with people who seem to have had little trouble conceiving. My mom (though she has no idea I am ttcing) was going on about how all she had to do was say the word sex and she would get pregnant. My mother was married in august at the age of 21, exactly 9 months later right after getting married my brother was born. But who knows if my parents were practicing before marriage as well. I'll ask her another time.... I wouldn't want her to get suspicious of my adventures in babyland.
Another friend of mine, who is 1 year younger than me, got pregnant the first month she tried unprotected sex with her BF. She was 28 at the time. She quickly aborted because she wasn't ready for a baby. But that's crazy because she's very over weight, eats very poorly, doesn't exercise, smokes cigarettes and other green substances (like a chimney), drinks like a fish, has thyroid issues and had major surgery on her bowels. All of that among other health issues and here she is, pregnant instantly! (I really do love her dearly though) It just goes to show you, when it's your turn, it's your turn. And when it's not, it's really not! Being able to conceive and have a baby is truly an enormous blessing!
Because we don't know when we will be so lucky as to conceive, my BF and I have decided to keep this whole ttcing thing a secret from everyone. We basically just don't want the pressure of family and friends constantly asking how our sex life is going! "Did he get it in there good?" "Did he nail you on your baby making days?" "Try doggy style. He'll like that and it will go in deeper." LOL They wouldn't say those things exactly but I feel like this whole thing pretty much just breaks down to sex, so if they are asking how its going and maybe offering suggestions, they are essentially getting involved in the nitty gritty details of our sex life. While ttcing can get frustrating, we would like to keep the happenings of our bedroom sacred and secret... I'll just type about it on a public blog over the internet! Of course, no one in the real world, in my circles atleast, knows anything about this blog.
I know I have only been ttcing for 2 months now but I'm annoyed with people who seem to have had little trouble conceiving. My mom (though she has no idea I am ttcing) was going on about how all she had to do was say the word sex and she would get pregnant. My mother was married in august at the age of 21, exactly 9 months later right after getting married my brother was born. But who knows if my parents were practicing before marriage as well. I'll ask her another time.... I wouldn't want her to get suspicious of my adventures in babyland.
Another friend of mine, who is 1 year younger than me, got pregnant the first month she tried unprotected sex with her BF. She was 28 at the time. She quickly aborted because she wasn't ready for a baby. But that's crazy because she's very over weight, eats very poorly, doesn't exercise, smokes cigarettes and other green substances (like a chimney), drinks like a fish, has thyroid issues and had major surgery on her bowels. All of that among other health issues and here she is, pregnant instantly! (I really do love her dearly though) It just goes to show you, when it's your turn, it's your turn. And when it's not, it's really not! Being able to conceive and have a baby is truly an enormous blessing!
Because we don't know when we will be so lucky as to conceive, my BF and I have decided to keep this whole ttcing thing a secret from everyone. We basically just don't want the pressure of family and friends constantly asking how our sex life is going! "Did he get it in there good?" "Did he nail you on your baby making days?" "Try doggy style. He'll like that and it will go in deeper." LOL They wouldn't say those things exactly but I feel like this whole thing pretty much just breaks down to sex, so if they are asking how its going and maybe offering suggestions, they are essentially getting involved in the nitty gritty details of our sex life. While ttcing can get frustrating, we would like to keep the happenings of our bedroom sacred and secret... I'll just type about it on a public blog over the internet! Of course, no one in the real world, in my circles atleast, knows anything about this blog.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
so called + early pregnancy signs!
This past month I had some things happen to me which I thought were signs... Well I was wrong. Any how here are my false "signs":
1. I read that I was born on a full moon. So this month I turned 31 on 8/13, The full moon was expected to occur on 8/1 so supposedly you can BD on the phase of the moon you were born on and have a chance to conceive. FAIL
2. My horoscope said something to the effect that this month will be a really lucky month, perhaps I will get pregnant or be proposed to. BF had hoped to propose to me on my birthday (I weaseled it out of him) but had unexpected EXPENSIVE $2000 car problems to pay for and couldn't finish paying for my ring. FAIL
3. I kept running in to pregnant ladies. Thought baby dust would fly off on to me. FAIL
4. Saw an ex who I was SUPER D DUPER attracted to at a traffic light. He was one of those who kind of slipped through the cracks... From time to time I think "Man! We could have had some pretty kids! What the Hell happened there?!" He lives kind of far from me and I would never have expected to run into him accidentally. He actually saw me first, started honking his horn and waved. When I finally noticed him I was so excited. That same moment, the light turns green! He drives off while I'm sitting in the turning lane. What are the odds!? This has got to mean something...why not mean something connected to me making a baby? Wrong! FAIL
5. My across the hall neighbor at work, who's been there since I've been there, moved out. I got a new neighbor who I thought was going to be very annoying. I was dreading going back to work all summer because of it. She turns out to be really cool AND I heard from my work bff that she is also ttc #1. She's 3 years older than me which makes me feel good about myself. (yes younger bitches, I'm a hater! No shame!) So I thought, "What a funny coincidence!" Last year we spoke briefly about making babies and both said how we weren't ready. And lo and behold I'm ready and she's apparently ready too! Funny, I thought, this must be a good omen for me in a round about way. FAIL
6. CD 18 was 8/10. I was in walmart, RANDOMLY, buying the most random thing for a random project at work. This little girl comes out of no where, must have been 3 yrs old. And I was mesmerized by her and shamelessly started to stare at her converse with one annoyed walmart employee cleaning up a spill on all 4's. The little girl kept asking the women question after question after question about having to clean up this spill to the point where the angry woman had to smile at how curious and cute this little girl was! The woman answered all her questions too, it was funny because she was pissed off at first. The little girl was like bent over, hands on knees super in the lady's face in her cute little girl voice "Whatcha doing? Who spilled this? What was it? Oh, it was hot sauce? Is is burning your hand? Are you sad? Want me to help you? Did some one do this on purpose? etc etc After standing there a while staring, I thought where is this child's parents? I turned around to see a middle aged man holding a whole bunch of everything pink smiling from ear to ear in adoration watching too. He randomly looks at me and starts talking my ear off. (I'm think this guy HAS to be her father! Wow! They're talkers!) He goes; She's my little Oprah. She doesn't stop talking. She loves to go up to people and talk. (then it got a little too personal) He says: Me and my wife tried for a year for her. We found out my wife was pregnant Christmas eve and she was born on my birthday. Our birthday is this Monday, August 13th. WHOA! DUDE! SO IS MINE!! So Now I'm thinking maybe I will get a +hpt for my birthday. Well this was an awesome episode in my life but still a ttc sign FAIL
7. 8/13 MY BIRTHDAY! There had apparently been a meteor shower! I heard about it that morning driving to work. I thought MAN! I missed it! What a memorable siting that would be to kick off my bday with a meteor shower! As soon as I finish saying that, I see one dart across the sky!!! This was the 1st meteor I had EVER seen! I knew this had to be a sign! Pretty amazing, but still a FAIL
8. 8/15 in the wee hours of the morning, it was still dark out. I went to go get some gas before heading out for work. This older man in the car across from me starts screaming and holding up a ticket in his hand. He's screaming I WON! I WON! TODAY IS MY LUCKY DAY! I WON $100!!!!! He cashed his ticket and drove off in this really beat up rusty car playing Michael Jackson's Don't Stop til you get enough. I don't know, thought his good fortune would rub off on me. FAIL
9. 8/16 I started sneezing, getting sinus headaches, stuffy nose issues. A tiny voice in my head said "This could be a sign that you are preggo!" I mean who gets a cold in August? And I don't ever remember having problems with allergies this time of year... FAIL
10. 8/15 slept for 10 hours straight it was awesome! 8/16 I wiped after peeing at work and saw cm and light brown stuff mixed together on my tp. I thought man am I getting AF already!? It's like 5 days early! Dang it! But she didn't come. So I thought, 3 days later, wait a second was that IB?? I had it again 8/18 after BDing and thought maybe BF shook it up in there and made more IB come out. I bought 2 pregnancy tests and told myself I would wait til I missed af. The sales clerk was being all weird about it too. He was smiling and speaking loudly like "You want to buy this kind? Ok. Cuz you GOT to know! Know what I mean? You just GOT to know!" Course, I couldn't wait til af was missed. I got back 2 BFN! Thinking well if it just implanted, it's to early to check! Be Cool! Then I wake up this morning in a puddle of my own blood, one damn day earlier than expected! FAIL
1. I read that I was born on a full moon. So this month I turned 31 on 8/13, The full moon was expected to occur on 8/1 so supposedly you can BD on the phase of the moon you were born on and have a chance to conceive. FAIL
2. My horoscope said something to the effect that this month will be a really lucky month, perhaps I will get pregnant or be proposed to. BF had hoped to propose to me on my birthday (I weaseled it out of him) but had unexpected EXPENSIVE $2000 car problems to pay for and couldn't finish paying for my ring. FAIL
3. I kept running in to pregnant ladies. Thought baby dust would fly off on to me. FAIL
4. Saw an ex who I was SUPER D DUPER attracted to at a traffic light. He was one of those who kind of slipped through the cracks... From time to time I think "Man! We could have had some pretty kids! What the Hell happened there?!" He lives kind of far from me and I would never have expected to run into him accidentally. He actually saw me first, started honking his horn and waved. When I finally noticed him I was so excited. That same moment, the light turns green! He drives off while I'm sitting in the turning lane. What are the odds!? This has got to mean something...why not mean something connected to me making a baby? Wrong! FAIL
5. My across the hall neighbor at work, who's been there since I've been there, moved out. I got a new neighbor who I thought was going to be very annoying. I was dreading going back to work all summer because of it. She turns out to be really cool AND I heard from my work bff that she is also ttc #1. She's 3 years older than me which makes me feel good about myself. (yes younger bitches, I'm a hater! No shame!) So I thought, "What a funny coincidence!" Last year we spoke briefly about making babies and both said how we weren't ready. And lo and behold I'm ready and she's apparently ready too! Funny, I thought, this must be a good omen for me in a round about way. FAIL
6. CD 18 was 8/10. I was in walmart, RANDOMLY, buying the most random thing for a random project at work. This little girl comes out of no where, must have been 3 yrs old. And I was mesmerized by her and shamelessly started to stare at her converse with one annoyed walmart employee cleaning up a spill on all 4's. The little girl kept asking the women question after question after question about having to clean up this spill to the point where the angry woman had to smile at how curious and cute this little girl was! The woman answered all her questions too, it was funny because she was pissed off at first. The little girl was like bent over, hands on knees super in the lady's face in her cute little girl voice "Whatcha doing? Who spilled this? What was it? Oh, it was hot sauce? Is is burning your hand? Are you sad? Want me to help you? Did some one do this on purpose? etc etc After standing there a while staring, I thought where is this child's parents? I turned around to see a middle aged man holding a whole bunch of everything pink smiling from ear to ear in adoration watching too. He randomly looks at me and starts talking my ear off. (I'm think this guy HAS to be her father! Wow! They're talkers!) He goes; She's my little Oprah. She doesn't stop talking. She loves to go up to people and talk. (then it got a little too personal) He says: Me and my wife tried for a year for her. We found out my wife was pregnant Christmas eve and she was born on my birthday. Our birthday is this Monday, August 13th. WHOA! DUDE! SO IS MINE!! So Now I'm thinking maybe I will get a +hpt for my birthday. Well this was an awesome episode in my life but still a ttc sign FAIL
7. 8/13 MY BIRTHDAY! There had apparently been a meteor shower! I heard about it that morning driving to work. I thought MAN! I missed it! What a memorable siting that would be to kick off my bday with a meteor shower! As soon as I finish saying that, I see one dart across the sky!!! This was the 1st meteor I had EVER seen! I knew this had to be a sign! Pretty amazing, but still a FAIL
8. 8/15 in the wee hours of the morning, it was still dark out. I went to go get some gas before heading out for work. This older man in the car across from me starts screaming and holding up a ticket in his hand. He's screaming I WON! I WON! TODAY IS MY LUCKY DAY! I WON $100!!!!! He cashed his ticket and drove off in this really beat up rusty car playing Michael Jackson's Don't Stop til you get enough. I don't know, thought his good fortune would rub off on me. FAIL
9. 8/16 I started sneezing, getting sinus headaches, stuffy nose issues. A tiny voice in my head said "This could be a sign that you are preggo!" I mean who gets a cold in August? And I don't ever remember having problems with allergies this time of year... FAIL
10. 8/15 slept for 10 hours straight it was awesome! 8/16 I wiped after peeing at work and saw cm and light brown stuff mixed together on my tp. I thought man am I getting AF already!? It's like 5 days early! Dang it! But she didn't come. So I thought, 3 days later, wait a second was that IB?? I had it again 8/18 after BDing and thought maybe BF shook it up in there and made more IB come out. I bought 2 pregnancy tests and told myself I would wait til I missed af. The sales clerk was being all weird about it too. He was smiling and speaking loudly like "You want to buy this kind? Ok. Cuz you GOT to know! Know what I mean? You just GOT to know!" Course, I couldn't wait til af was missed. I got back 2 BFN! Thinking well if it just implanted, it's to early to check! Be Cool! Then I wake up this morning in a puddle of my own blood, one damn day earlier than expected! FAIL
CD 1
This has not been a happy day at all!
This previous cycle I started out hopeful then I was doubtful and then I thought we were successful and then SLAM!! AF! Bitches! In your face!
This Morning I woke up, alone in a puddle of my own blood, surrounded by used tissues and a roll of toilet paper (dealing with a stupid cold/or allergy. ugh!). You can imagine how angry, annoyed and sad I felt.
So I went on amazon and I ordered preseed, some 50 opk's, 20 hpt's and began this blog. Here's hoping C#3 will be more successful....and I will continue to post!
can I just say, EWCM! WTF! When I was in my 20's I had all kinds of fluid crap in my undies ALL the time to the point where I mustered up enough courage, though I was really embarrased, to ask my Dr when I was 25 is there something wrong with me. And all he said was, with a smile (exact words) "No. When you get older you will wish you had this." And stupid me I left it at that. I should have said: (first off) WHY??? (second) How much older are we talking about?
I just realized not to long ago, I don't get half as much of that crap in my knickers anymore! Oh so that's what the heck he was talking about! Damn, should have made this ttc thing happen earlier!
Oh well! That's life aint it!?
This previous cycle I started out hopeful then I was doubtful and then I thought we were successful and then SLAM!! AF! Bitches! In your face!
This Morning I woke up, alone in a puddle of my own blood, surrounded by used tissues and a roll of toilet paper (dealing with a stupid cold/or allergy. ugh!). You can imagine how angry, annoyed and sad I felt.
So I went on amazon and I ordered preseed, some 50 opk's, 20 hpt's and began this blog. Here's hoping C#3 will be more successful....and I will continue to post!
can I just say, EWCM! WTF! When I was in my 20's I had all kinds of fluid crap in my undies ALL the time to the point where I mustered up enough courage, though I was really embarrased, to ask my Dr when I was 25 is there something wrong with me. And all he said was, with a smile (exact words) "No. When you get older you will wish you had this." And stupid me I left it at that. I should have said: (first off) WHY??? (second) How much older are we talking about?
I just realized not to long ago, I don't get half as much of that crap in my knickers anymore! Oh so that's what the heck he was talking about! Damn, should have made this ttc thing happen earlier!
Oh well! That's life aint it!?
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