CD 22 9 dpo (Maybe + HPT....?)

Well, I know I said, just 2 days ago, I wasn't going to test again until Monday at 10 dpo.  It sooo did not go down like that though.  Yesterday morning, I said, what the heck, I'll test for sh*ts and giggles.  I dipped the test into a plastic cup of my pee.  Placed it down on the wrapper on top of my sink.  I watched as the pee saturated the stick...and then something CRAZY happened...the test line was the first line to come up!  Next was the control line!!!!!  The test line was soooooo faint! 
After seeing the +, I was a bit shocked, scared and like, HOLY !@#$% I'm going to have a baby??!! Am I ready for this!? BF is still paying off my ring! (And he is working soo hard to get me the ring I want too <3) We're being really nonchalant about making calls and setting up appointments for our marriage, I've never birthed a baby before!, what will my co-workers say?, what will my mom say?, WHAT WILL MY DAD SAY!!!??? Little tiny freak out session.
I had to dip another test in my urine! (same urine, I wait a few before throwing it out just in case the test is faulty)  I mean, it could have been an evap line or a faulty test.. 
So the results of the second test was a......BFN!!!!
I breathed a sigh of relief..sad to say.  It was a lot of feelings at one time.  I mean fear feels almost like an automatic reaction to a HPT for me.  I have lived through times in my past, while dating an ex where the condom came off inside me or it broke and I would run to the store to buy HPTs hoping and praying I wasn't preggo because I just wasn't ready!  So naturally this time, I honestly had some of those previous emotions mixed in with a bit of hope for a +.  Though, I'm 31, sometimes I really feel like I'm 21 and not old enough or in the right stage in my life to start a family.
But the opposite is actually true, I am ready, I am old enough, I am secure enough and I am in the right stage.  I'm in the perfect place.  I feel like even though we've talked about it a lot and I have decided I was ready to use my body to bring another life into the world, I may never feel totally 100% sure upon seeing a positive test.  There's a lot of emotions and shock to seeing a positive result because your life will be forever changed from that moment on.

Well, after my little episode yesterday, I said ok, that was a lesson to me.  That's what I get for going back on my word!  Well this morning I woke up, sat on the toilet, paused for a second and thought, "Should I go get my pee cup??.....NO! A promise is a promise!"  So I released the flood gates and out the pee flowed.

Later on, some friends came over and we entertained a little.  I had been running around all day trying to get this and that for the company.  And then I realized to myself, I hadn't peed since this morning...
After the company left, I did go upstairs and peed in my cup.  I dipped the test in the pee.  I decided I wouldn't stare.  So I set my phone for 5 minutes.  When I came back, there was a faint test line again y'all!!!!!!!!!     I mean it happened once yesterday and I thought it was a faulty test.  It surely can't be faulty again today, right!?!?  I'm in shock and I'm happy but not totally convinced.  And, I did not have a freak out session today. I think I got it out of my system yesterday.  Can you see it?  The pic doesn't do it justice.
I'm definitely testing again tomorrow morning (at 10 dpo *blush* *blush*) seeing it again tomorrow, perhaps darker is the confirmation I'll need to finally let go of my breath.  I still have absolutely no symptoms.

Later, I laid down to rest a bit and BF came and laid down next to me and I told him "Today is a good day, a day to remember.  Remember that."  And he smiled and said "ok" but he thought I said that because our friends came over and he cut the grass. 
BF's bday is at the end of the month, 21 more days.  And he has been working extra hard to improve himself by then.  He's already in good shape, but he's been working out more and harder to achieve more muscle definition.  And he's been eating really well.   He's also been working crazy long hours in over time to make more money to get my wedding ring and have more money in savings for our future.  He's been working HARD!  He hardly has time to himself.  But with all that he's doing he finds the time and energy to squeeze in for me. 
One of my BFF's "back home" is getting married the day before his bday.  Knowing that he is strapped for cash, at the beginning of this month, I bought us both plane tix to fly home for her wedding.  BF has never been to my city and he's really excited about it.  If I really am pregnant, I'm going to take him site seeing on his bday and tell him the good news in a romantic, hopefully magical way.

 I'm definitely going to ask him to recall the day I said "Today is a good day, a day to remember..."