13 dpo

Soooo......! 
All the symptoms I said I had at 10 dpo are totally gone, so I wonder if I just made it up....? 
I basically feel nothing except feeling bloated and having slightly sore boobs.  I still haven't reached my AF date.

12dpo                                                                                                                                     13 dpo

I COULDN'T WAIT 21 DAYS TO TELL BF!!!!  I told him 2 nights ago!  I hadn't been sleeping.  I'd be up all night with thoughts racing through my mind some of them thoughts of joy and others total fear!  I started thinking "Oh my goodness!  What have I done?!  I'm not even married yet!  I don't even have my engagement ring! 

So I woke BF up 2 nights ago in the middle of his deep sleep to ask BF if he ever asked his friend about marrying us and how soon I'd get my ring.  He was sooo pissed!  He was like "Really "Mich"? Do you really need to wake me up from my sleep to ask that now??  I have to go to work early!"  He was starting to get all worked up and got up and sat on the edge of the bed not really responding.  So I finally told him, at that moment because he was so pissed and had no idea where these questions were coming from all of a sudden, so urgent.  He was so shocked.  He immediately got back in bed with me and literally squeezed me tight, kissing me and hugging me and telling me he loved me.

Today at work, my work bff asked me how I was doing and I blurted out "I'm pregnant!"  It just flew out of my mouth before I could stop it!  I just got finished telling her yesterday that if I were pregnant, I wouldn't tell her until the first trimester ended.  So much for that!

I really hope and pray I won't spill the beans to anyone else yet!  I need a stapler for my mouth!

My across the hall neighbor at work is also ttcing and from time to time we talk about it.  I want to tell her sooo bad but I think she is having a rather difficult time getting preg.  She has been trying for a few months.  But the thing is, is that she doesn't often get her period and her gyn says she doesn't ovulate regularly.  She's really upset about it because her family all just assumes "Oh So and So?  No! She's 34 she'll never have kids!  I don't think they want any!" 

But honestly, time really does creep up on you!  I still have these doubts like "Hold on I don't think I'm old enough to be some one's mom yet.." And then here I am 31, biologically starting to try to be pushing it age wise!  And she said the same thing!  She and I had similar experiences in our 20's.  We spent extended periods of time travelling out of the country.  I moved far away from friends and family to a new state where I bought my house.  I spent most of my 20's in a serious but very destructive relationship, broke up with him after 8 years and spent the next 4 years meeting new guys and having new experiences with all of them while finding my own identity.  I got a bachelors degree and years later got my masters. 

Making babies was the last thing on my mind in my 20's.

So now here I am, 10 years after losing my virginity, I'm going to be a mommy! (God willing)

Holy no symptoms at all until 10 dpo batman!

The funniest thing though is that the symptoms are totally nothing I would have even imagined or matched with pregnancy!  I still don't have any major crazy symptoms. 

The symptoms that I noticed today besides sore boobs are:

1. Shortness of breath!  What?!  I feel like I'm gasping for air a bit.

2.  Twinges in my upper, yup UPPER, abdomen.  Weird huh?

And

3. Often thirsty with dry mouth.  But this could be caused by the shortness of breath. 

 

The shortness of breath is kind of annoying though.  I hope I'm able to keep this all a secret until BF's bday!  FX

 

So anyhow, today after work, I took another HPT.  I think it looks a bit darker from this morning.  Wouldn't you say?

 

Wait....  Dude.  I think I'm, pregnant.  God willing, I'm going to be somebody's momma....

CD 23 10 dpo + hpt

So this morning, just 30 minutes ago, I woke up early to test.  I was upset to see the test line is fainter than what I remember yesterday's being.

But now that I actually compare the pics, today's is definitely darker and better seen.  I guess I was kind of hoping to see a bold line this morning.  Today I finally got my first real symptom, my boobs are a tad bit sore on the sides. 
Dude!  I'm preggers....I can't belive it!

 And so begins a new chapter in my life! 











i

CD 22 9 dpo (Maybe + HPT....?)

Well, I know I said, just 2 days ago, I wasn't going to test again until Monday at 10 dpo.  It sooo did not go down like that though.  Yesterday morning, I said, what the heck, I'll test for sh*ts and giggles.  I dipped the test into a plastic cup of my pee.  Placed it down on the wrapper on top of my sink.  I watched as the pee saturated the stick...and then something CRAZY happened...the test line was the first line to come up!  Next was the control line!!!!!  The test line was soooooo faint! 
After seeing the +, I was a bit shocked, scared and like, HOLY !@#$% I'm going to have a baby??!! Am I ready for this!? BF is still paying off my ring! (And he is working soo hard to get me the ring I want too <3) We're being really nonchalant about making calls and setting up appointments for our marriage, I've never birthed a baby before!, what will my co-workers say?, what will my mom say?, WHAT WILL MY DAD SAY!!!??? Little tiny freak out session.
I had to dip another test in my urine! (same urine, I wait a few before throwing it out just in case the test is faulty)  I mean, it could have been an evap line or a faulty test.. 
So the results of the second test was a......BFN!!!!
I breathed a sigh of relief..sad to say.  It was a lot of feelings at one time.  I mean fear feels almost like an automatic reaction to a HPT for me.  I have lived through times in my past, while dating an ex where the condom came off inside me or it broke and I would run to the store to buy HPTs hoping and praying I wasn't preggo because I just wasn't ready!  So naturally this time, I honestly had some of those previous emotions mixed in with a bit of hope for a +.  Though, I'm 31, sometimes I really feel like I'm 21 and not old enough or in the right stage in my life to start a family.
But the opposite is actually true, I am ready, I am old enough, I am secure enough and I am in the right stage.  I'm in the perfect place.  I feel like even though we've talked about it a lot and I have decided I was ready to use my body to bring another life into the world, I may never feel totally 100% sure upon seeing a positive test.  There's a lot of emotions and shock to seeing a positive result because your life will be forever changed from that moment on.

Well, after my little episode yesterday, I said ok, that was a lesson to me.  That's what I get for going back on my word!  Well this morning I woke up, sat on the toilet, paused for a second and thought, "Should I go get my pee cup??.....NO! A promise is a promise!"  So I released the flood gates and out the pee flowed.

Later on, some friends came over and we entertained a little.  I had been running around all day trying to get this and that for the company.  And then I realized to myself, I hadn't peed since this morning...
After the company left, I did go upstairs and peed in my cup.  I dipped the test in the pee.  I decided I wouldn't stare.  So I set my phone for 5 minutes.  When I came back, there was a faint test line again y'all!!!!!!!!!     I mean it happened once yesterday and I thought it was a faulty test.  It surely can't be faulty again today, right!?!?  I'm in shock and I'm happy but not totally convinced.  And, I did not have a freak out session today. I think I got it out of my system yesterday.  Can you see it?  The pic doesn't do it justice.
I'm definitely testing again tomorrow morning (at 10 dpo *blush* *blush*) seeing it again tomorrow, perhaps darker is the confirmation I'll need to finally let go of my breath.  I still have absolutely no symptoms.

Later, I laid down to rest a bit and BF came and laid down next to me and I told him "Today is a good day, a day to remember.  Remember that."  And he smiled and said "ok" but he thought I said that because our friends came over and he cut the grass. 
BF's bday is at the end of the month, 21 more days.  And he has been working extra hard to improve himself by then.  He's already in good shape, but he's been working out more and harder to achieve more muscle definition.  And he's been eating really well.   He's also been working crazy long hours in over time to make more money to get my wedding ring and have more money in savings for our future.  He's been working HARD!  He hardly has time to himself.  But with all that he's doing he finds the time and energy to squeeze in for me. 
One of my BFF's "back home" is getting married the day before his bday.  Knowing that he is strapped for cash, at the beginning of this month, I bought us both plane tix to fly home for her wedding.  BF has never been to my city and he's really excited about it.  If I really am pregnant, I'm going to take him site seeing on his bday and tell him the good news in a romantic, hopefully magical way.

 I'm definitely going to ask him to recall the day I said "Today is a good day, a day to remember..." 

CD 20 7 DPO

K.  I'm a tad crazy this 2ww. I just feel like, I want to be pregnant sooo bad that I literally can't breathe!  My BF has NOOOO idea how crazy I really feel inside!  I must have taken 10 hpts already! It's just this cycle, I feel like we did so well!  I mean we basically knew when ovulation was going to occur thanks to the opks, we used pressed, we BDed a lot around the time of  ovulation, not to mention the whole blue moon thing!  But sadly, I feel like I don't have any symptoms!  I've had menstrual cycles when not ttcing with more preggo symptoms!  I don't even have breast soreness or swollen breasts!  My last few cycles I had the breast symptoms really bad. I'm hoping since it is unusual for me to not have any symptoms during my cycle its a good sign......FX!
One thing I did notice last night was my nipples appeared to be a tiny bit darker and bigger but a very small change.  Nothing drastic. And this is actually the second ttc cycle where I thought they were darker and bigger.  I don't know what is going to come of our efforts this month!  I'm just hoping and praying!
I really want atleast 2 kids, ideally 3 by the age 35!  I want to get the ball rolling already!  This is nerve racking!  AF is due the 16th. I'm not going to test again until the 10th which will be 10 dpo.....

CD 14

Yesterday, on CD 13, I got a very clear positive on my OPK.  I told my BF to hurry up and come home so we can BD.  I thought the positive OPK meant I was ovulating at that moment.  So we BDed and used the preseed for the first time.  My BF didn't too much care for the preseed.  He said he preferred the feeling of my own fluids better.  That time he had an orgasm and I didn't which is unusual for me because I always do.  I guess it was because I wasn't 100% aroused.  I was just wet due to the preseed.  But I think that him having an orgasm and me not is a good thing.  I read some where that when the female orgasms first, the contractions can obstruct the sperm from entering the cervix.

Anyway I woke up in the early hours this morning and got my orgasm any way.   I went knocking on his doors and he let me in.  ;-)  Since that wasn't specifically planned as a BD we didn't even bother to stop and get the preseed. 

After a little while later, I found out that a positive OPK means that you are JUST about to ovulate.

That's a good thing because I was a little afraid we could possibly have been a little late with our BD on CD 13 because we had not BDed since CD 10 or 11 and I know sperm will only live for around 3 days.   So after finding that out we BDed again.  (I hope I don't exhaust his supply!  He's a young chap but still....lol)

I just took another OPK the test line is still bold but I must admit it looks a tad bit lighter than yesterday's.  So I think we will BD again tonight.  I would also like for us to BD on CDs 15, 16, 17 and 18 just to be on the safe side. 

Here's hoping we're successful!  BF and I are super excited.  2013 brings our marriage and hopefully our first child!  

BTW!  Remember me telling you I was born on the full moon?  And the whole thing about there being a strong possibility of conceiving on the same phase of the moon as the female's birth?  Well CD 12 was a full moon.  I got my first positive OPK on CD 13.  So I just figured I missed the full moon, well what ever!  Well, CD 13 turned out to be a Blue Moon!  Blue Moons are and extra night of a full moon. (they are not actually blue.)  They only come around every 2.7 years!  The next Blue Moon will be July 31, 2015.  Hopefully this is a good sign!